Back in 2012, a young man in his early 20’s walked into my school and signed up for classes. He was excited, highly motivated, and ready to train. He had a great attitude and when he was in class, he would work hard. The first few years saw him come and go from classes, consistency was holding him back from advancing beyond blue belt.

Eventually he dedicated himself for a stretch of time that he was able to bench up to green belt, and then he disappeared again. As time passed, he would show up for weeks at a time, coming to 5 or 6 classes per week, and training hard. He would recommit, only to bounce out 4 to 6 weeks later and resurface 3 or 4 months later.

This went on for a time, and it perplexed me. He was a kind soul, with a good sense of humor, and consistently helping other people when he was on the mats, and off. He worked at group homes assisting people unable to assist themselves. Always giving. He would recruit anyone that would listen, to come to classes with us; his friends, significant other, even his own mother (where’s my aleve…?). [inside joke that she’ll appreciate]

In mantis boxing, a majority will make yellow belt, and from there maybe half those will get to blue belt. It’s a lengthy journey, and not everyone can commit to it for years at a time to get there. So when someone makes it to green belt, the odds are greater that they will move through the ranks to black belt. This is not always the case of course, but green belt has many challenges in front of it. Someone has learned to survive as a white belt, honed their defense between yellow and blue belt, and is starting to finally get in stride and see the bigger picture of all these moving parts coming together, so they can begin to develop their own game, or art.

As a teacher, coach, guide on this journey for others, it is difficult to see someone get this far, and then drop off. So this time, I reached out to have a heart to heart and find out what was going on. What did I find? Nothing surprising from a man like Thomas. He was working long hours and almost every day of the week, driving himself into the ground helping others. And he was about to break.

Thomas can do jobs I could never do. Character traits I lack, he seems to naturally possess. This makes him perfectly suited for service fields that require someone dedicate their time to helping others who cannot help themselves. It is a commendable and inspiring vocation. Unfortunately, he was burning out after years of taking care of others, but not himself. Thomas was ready to move to the woods and never talk to another human being again.

We had a long chat about his work, future plans, and where he stood with his training. I asked him if he still wanted to train, and continue on the journey. He said, yes. He wanted to get to black belt, and he really loved martial arts, but he didn’t know how to get back to a place where he could focus on it.

Backing up for a moment, a couple years prior I stopped teaching my kids program. I had burned out and my heart was more into teaching adults at the time. Having taught kids for years, I did not feel I was making an impact on their lives in a positive manner. In those 11 years, I had maybe 3 or 4 kids that successfully made the transition from the kids class to the adult class. I blamed myself for this failing, and decided to walk away for a while and focus strictly on my adult classes, which were doing far better by comparison.

So in our conversation, when Thomas and I were discussing where he was going next in life, I offered to restart the kids program if he would come on board as an instructor to help get it off the ground again. He could continue to help other people, something integral to his core, and simultaneously refocus on his training; taking it to the next level and bringing him a step closer to fulfilling his dreams.

I asked him to think it over, even though he was immediately excited and ready to jump in, just to ensure he was prepared to commit. He was all in, and came back to me with his true path - to become a martial arts instructor as his career.

Since then, Thomas has applied himself diligently to his craft. He has grown not only as a mantis boxer and jiu-jitsu grappler, but as a person. He has matured immensely, evolving from a wanderer, a part-time student of combat sports; to a humble, competent, and effective instructor, coach; and dedicated martial artist. In that transition his skills elevated to a whole new magnitude, to which he later confessed that he had no idea how significantly that - consistency, dedication, perseverance, and effort - would benefit his growth as a fighter, warrior, and human being.

As a coach and teacher, watching these transformations is what makes it all worthwhile. It has been an honor to watch from the sidelines as Thomas stepped up his game and transformed into something he could previously only imagine. He is now, one of four black belts in mantis boxing by my hand. Congratulations, Thomas.

photos by Max Kotchouro